My hair is growing. I've actually had a few haircuts. Its base is black with some added gray. I think I've earned those grays. They're like a badge of honor. I don't mind them. It means I'm old enough to have them. I get to be old enough to have gray hair. There's a positive!
I find it funny that my hair is black now. It was black as a child then brown when I got older. Riley keeps telling me she wants the brown headed mother, the one she grew up around. I swear that child has a problem with change. I'm not ready to begin the lifelong process of coloring it. Debbie recommended low lights to tone down the gray. So lowlights it is. So now I have black hair with a smattering of gray.
When my hair began to grow back, it came in thick and curly. Wash it, let it dry and I was ready to go. Bonus! It's beginning to get longer now, the curls have turned into waves. I'm at that in between stage where it's hard to style. I'm trying to let it grow longer, maybe into the style I had pre Big "C". I can almost make a teeny tiny pony tail. I know it may seem insignificant, but to someone that didn't have hair for 9 months that's huge!
Today I was trying to style it and became frustrated, actually cursing my new hair. I really don't know why I was surprised that I was frustr
ated; I could never do my hair. When I had my daughter after having two boys, my first thought was "OMG, I have to do girl hair!" Seriously, she was a competitive dancer, and at 8 years old at a competition, she turned and said "Step away Mom, I'll handle my own hair". Get the picture?
Anyway, I stopped and looked at myself in the mirror and immediately had two thoughts: (1) I was doing something I did before cancer. I was complaining about my hair. My life was getting back to normal and (2) I quickly flashback to the days I had no hair; desperately hoping it would grow. I laugh at myself and my short memory. Is treating cancer like childbirth? After awhile you forget about all the pain?
I think about my hair and realize that even though I have no clue on how to style it, I'm grateful that I have it. Hair and all that comes with it. I'm here and I'm having a bad hair day. I'm having a bad hair day - how great is that?