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Decimated . . .

Updated: May 7, 2020

Surgery is done and I arrive home. I am greeted by my mother and kids. All I want to do is sit in my rocking chair and sleep. I find that my favorite friends are frozen peas and Vicadin. The peas sit on the incision area and the vicadin for the pain. My pain is not overly bad, but I take the Vicadin to stave off the pain. I’m not a huge pill popper. I rarely take an aspirin and was petrified of Vicadin. I’m such a wimp, I think I’ll become addicted. I will admit, they work. Being so careful while taking it, I read all the side effects. My doctor had suggested taking a stool softener of offset any side effects. I’ve never had any trouble in that area but being the rule follower that I am, I send my husband out to get stool softener.

Now here’s something very important to remember – when sending one’s husband out to get a stool softener make sure he reads the label. Both the laxative and the stool softener boxes are green. You see where I going with this right?

I was in my faithful rocking chair one night and even though I hadn’t experienced any side effects from the Vicadin, good little soldier that I am, I decide I’d better take the stool softener. My husband, being the ever present care taker, runs to get me the pill. About a half an hour later, I think I’m giving birth in the bathroom. I’m yelling to my husband there’s something wrong, my daughter can hear me in pain and wants to know if everything’s alright. I think I’m literally dying. A good hour later, cleared out, cold sweat gone and my coloring coming back, I go the closet and look at the box. Laxative. He bought the laxatives not the stool softener. I have no words, I’ve just been decimated by my well-meaning husband. Of course, he has me swear not to tell anyone about his blunder – yeah right!


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