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The End of the Journey . . . or so I think

I went for my treatments later in the week. I was taken into the bowels of the hospital basement. I was brought into a room and placed on a table with a large cone like machine. Tang, the specialized technician moved the cone like machine millimeters at a time to get it in the right spot. My four prongs were hooked up to a machine. Pellets of radiation were pumped in through the balloon device basically swished around and taken out again. It was painless and took no time at all.

My last treatment was scheduled for June 28, 2011, my 25th wedding anniversary. When I married 25 years prior I had imagined my 25th anniversary would be spent on a beach drinking a pina colada not hooked up a a machine treating breast cancer.

My children came with me, so off we went for the momentous occasion. As I headed off for treatment, my parting works were “Behave”. They were 22, 19 and 16 at the time, but old habits are hard to break. I go off to the room to have my last treatment, tang, once again, takes his time lining me up just right and the process begins. As I lay for the half an hour and feel a light pulsing through the tubes into my breast, I feel at peace. I reminisce about my journey, I think about my husband and three kids and how this has impacted our lives, I think of all the incredible people I’ve met along the way, I think about the procedures and treatments I have gone through. I don’t have any anger, I never did. I never asked why me? This was just was another part of my life journey. I am filled with gratitude.

I leave the treatment room and go out to my kids and hold them. Having them there when I walked out from my last treatment meant everything to me. Those hugs were the sweetest of my life. I was filled with love, my life just got sweeter. The nurses came out to clap and presented me with a gift. Treatment was complete!

My children and I went to dinner afterwards to celebrate. I let them pick the restaurant and surprise we ended up at a local pub for burgers. We called my husband and for the first time in a really long time – I could take a deep breath. We talked about the journey – okay I tried to talk, the boys as usual gave me one word answers. I think they got it and got my confirmation when I got home and looked at facebook. Anthony posted this: “With the right attitude you can get through anything”. The one who was clueless in the beginning got it. He understood, they all understood. Life happens and what you do when it does makes all the difference.


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