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Not Funny Universe!

So I guess the universe decided I didn’t have enough on my plate.  I started my day going for my final “fitting” for radiation.  Arriving on time, finding a close parking spot (I qualify for patient parking spaces – score!), I change into my gown and get called down, get fitted one more time and off I go.  Home by 10:30.  I had made plans to meet my friend Tina at Lifetime to swim.  I’m trying to get in the pool as much as I can before Monday when I begin my radiation treatments.  Once I begin those I’m not allowed in the pool.

It’s the first time I wear a wig to the club.  I always wear a cap.  The girl at the front desk notices.  We speak as I’m walking by.  And then it happens.  My foot gets caught in uneven carpet/tile and turns.  As I’m trying to correct myself, I hear a pop.  The pain was excruciating.  So how does my body handle it?  I start fainting!  Now I’d like to tell you that I looked like a beautiful Victorian lady who just came down with the vapors.   You know slowly and elegantly laying down on a chaise.  That would be no.

I’m asked if I’m alright.  I respond No, I need to sit down.  She grabs a chair and sets it down.  Right in the front of the spa.  Right where everyone walks in.  I can’t faint in the back of the locker room – No – I get to faint in the front entrance to Lifetime.

As I stagger over to the chair, I PLOP into it.  Nothing dainty here – full boat PLOP!  I barely make it into the chair when I start fainting.  Yep lights out for me.  Someone called some kind of code and as I was in an out I look up and 20 people are looking at me.  All employees, all looking at me.  This is turning out to be a really bad day.

In one point of my lucidity, I say there are too many of you, go back to work. They don't.  It’s decided to take me into the spa and place me in another chair and prop my feet up.  Thank God, out of the lobby!  I’m sitting, my feet are up and I’m sweating profusely.  I’ve lost all color in my face.  I'm in and out of consciousness.

A doctor, who was working out, comes in and asks if she can examine me.  I’m fine with that.  I tell her I’m so hot (which she can obviously tell as I’m dripping).  I take off my coat and am still burning up.  They place a cold pack on my neck. I'm still sweating.  I tell the  doctor that I have a wig on.  She looks at me and says, if you want to feel cooler, you need to take it off.  OMG Really?  Come on, I've just fell and fainted in front of all of life time and now you want me to take off my wig? Could this day get any worse?!?

The time has come, continue to sweat profusely and feel faint or take off my wig and feel cooler.  I look at the crowd around me and say “Sorry guys but I have to do this – get ready for the show”.   The time is here - I take it off.  I instantly feel cooler.  I’ve just whipped my wig off in front of all of Lifetime.  I honestly don’t care at this point because I’m so hot I just want relief!

I ask my trainer Sherry, who’s staying right by my side, if someone could tell my friend Tina that I won’t be meeting her in the pool.  Tina gets out of the pool with a towel wrapped around her and says “Really Carey, you’ll do anything to get out of swimming!  She follows it up with “Have you eaten?”  No, I reply.  She gets me a smoothie.  Gotta love Tina!  I am feeling much better the fainting has passed.  I've even put back on my wig.

I’ve asked them to call Bob.  I’m pretty sure my ankle’s broken.  As I’m saying this, in rushes 4 EMT’s.  They have their medical bags and are bringing in a bed on wheels.  Could this get any worse?!?  I say – OMG even you guys?  Please tell me you didn’t have the siren on!  Their response – that’s the best part of the job!

So I’ve got half the staff of Lifetime and now 4 EMT’s all working on me.  Feeling a little embarrassed here!  I’m drinking  and have cold compresses on the back of my neck.  I’m feeling much better, the color comes back to my face.  The EMT’s offer to take me to the hospital.  I tell them I’ll wait for my husband.

Bob finally gets there while the EMT's are wrapping my leg in a splint.  They put me in a portable wheel chair and out to the car we go.  OMG in front is a firetruck and an ambulance with the lights still flashing!  Now I’m officially mortified.

We have to stop at home first as I'm in my bathing suit.  Good times trying to change with a broken ankle.

We go the emergency.  It's packed and we're in the height of flu season.  Bob goes to the front desk and asks for a mask for me.  He explains that I'm in treatment for breast cancer.  I'm immediately taken to a room, no wait for me.  Give one to cancer and my shining knight husband.

I meet with the PA.  He examins me and orders xrays.  I ask him what the fainting was all about.  He tells me my body basically went in fight or flight mode from the pain. It's how my body coped, it fainted.  It's Vasovagal Syncope. It can be brought on by intense pain, emotions like fear, dehydration, overheating.  Are you kidding me?  Now I'm a fainter! Really?

I have a great xray technician whose been working at Beaumont for 20 years.  He's gentle, fast and funny.  I'm done in no time. Diagnosis:  I’ve broken a non-weight baring bone in my ankle.  I will be in an air cast for the next 5 to 6 weeks.  Oh Joy!  That means the entire time I'm in radiation. Can’t wait to see how they get me on the table for radiation – lol!  It could always be worse.  And as far as Lifetime, I’m not sure I can show face there again! Life - Never a dull moment!


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