The Final Drain - Whoo Hoo!
On Tuesday I have an appointment at Dr. Ruark's office to have my second drain removed if all looks well. I'm cautiously optimistic and hopeful. Once in the room the PA, Theresa, begins to exam my drain, output, color. I've emptied the drain before I came, 3 cm and tan in color. There's very little in the drain - mentally I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
I've known Theresa for 6 years. During one of my visits I asked her why she chose to work in breast cancer. She tells me she originally thought she would only do it for a year, but here she is years later and loving that she can help. I have jokingly called her the truth Nazi because she always seems to tell me, lovingly, the worst case scenarios. I know this is her job, but I can honestly say that I've never experienced any of them. I'll let you in on a secret, I half listen to her for two reasons: 1 - I don't want to hear it - lol! and 2 - I refuse to allow myself to go to the negative. I want to manifest only positive on this journey.
She shows me the port and explains to me how it will be surgically inserted and possible side effects. Yep not going there. We discuss possible dates. Dr. Ruark will be doing the surgery. It may happen as early as next week. Followed by chemo the following week. Say what?!? I haven't even seen the oncologist yet!!! Once again, this is moving way to quickly for me. My brain needs to catch up!
I was hoping for some down time. I want to go away for a long weekend to just have some quiet time before I begin my next part of the journey. She's not sure if it will happen. I'm going to be optimistic.
She discusses me losing my hair. She tells me about a free class offered to cancer patients on how to do make up, hair/wig tips, etc. I will be attending - I mean I need all the help I can get! She leaves the room and I turn to Bob and get a little choked up. He says what's wrong? I respond - "Oh just the usual, reality hitting me." It comes in waves, you know. I'll find that I'm going about my day and something will hit me and even at times steal my breath away when I think about this journey. Then I work hard are bringing myself back to the present and realize that I'm one of many that's had to take this path. It's a path I'm taking because I choose life. It's really that simple. I chose life and all that comes with it. I allow myself to take in the moment whether it be fear or sadness but I don't allow it to consume me. I acknowledge it but move on to peace.
Theresa comes back in and does and an ultrasound on my neck. She's checking for veins for my port. My port will be inserted into my right side not my left where the cancer is located. Bob asks why -the right side works better for the flow. Interesting. Good veins found. Now on the the last drain. She decides my drain can be removed. Whoop Whoop!!
I let her know that I felt no pain when Dr. Ruark removed the last drain, so the pressure is on. She says oh great! She says Dr. Ruark probably removed the shorter one (which she did). She removes the drain I feel just a slight pull and it's out. Double Whoop Whoop! It's out!!!! Freedom!!!!
She still wants me to take it easy for the day. She gives me exercises to do to help in raising my arm. I will see her next week to check on the progress.
She asks me if anyone has shown me a prosthetic for my breast. That would be no. She tells me I will receive a script and be fitted. Great, someone else will be touching me my chest. She leaves and gets a sample. I will have a special bra that will handle the insert. I'll be honest here, my breasts are heavy. I'm sure I lost 5 pounds when Dr. Ruark removed my breast. I'm hoping for a "light" prosthetic. She hands it to me. It's squishy and is just as heavy as my other breast. Really? Can't I catch a little break - lol! I turn to my husband and say - when I replace these babies, I'm getting
Drain out, information given, we leave. On the way out, I get my appointment with the oncologist. It's set for tomorrow at 5:30. On to treatment!