Things . . .
*** Below you'll find the blog I originally thought I posted. I claim the previous post in all its ugly glory. I won't apologize for writing it, I will apologize for posting it. I labeled two edits the same. What you're reading below is the 5th edit. When I'm upset or have challenges in life, I write. I don't write to the person/people upsetting me, I write to myself. Writing saves me. I work through whatever challenge I have by writing through it. I write, leave it, work on the issue, write again, leave it and do more soul searching and write again until I come to peace with it. Sometimes it takes quite a few edits but I eventually get there. And I am at peace with "things". I'll be honest and say I had to fight with my ego deciding to delete the previous post after reading some comments. But my ego has no place in this blog. My goal with this blog was to be honest and real about working through life's challenges. It's not pretty, it's not easy and can be extremely painful. But as I have found with all my previous life challenges, it's worth all the pain and hard work. What you've been reading throughout my blog is my growth. And I'm grateful to share it with you "warts" and all. Namaste.
My mother passed away on June 15th. As my father had died 15 years ago, we had the task of clearing out her home. At the same time, I’ve sold my home and am moving. We have lived in our home for 31 years. In 31 years we have accumulated a lot of things. Call it the big clearing - that’s what I’m in the middle of right now.
When we went to clear out our mother’s things, there were 4 of us. Each approaching it differently. In the middle of cleaning out my home and just recently clearing out my mother-in-law’s home after she died, I wasn’t looking for a lot of “things”. Going through her things, I saw who was more sentimental, who was more pragmatic, who really wanted a lot of her things. Think Supermarket Sweep - LOL! Each of us getting a piece of our Mom and Dad. I found what was important to one meant nothing to another. We were clearing out my mother’s life and going through her things was like reading her final chapter.
I find it interesting that I was cleaning out my home at the same time as my mother’s. Going through so much stuff at my mothers and then doing the same at my house, you begin to wonder - why do I need all this? When I look at what I have saved for 31 years, I ask myself why? Why did I ever save that material I used for curtains that are no longer hung? Or when my husband found, in the attic. a seat from a swing he had as a child? I said to him - you do know that you’ve taken that seat to each house you’ve lived in, raised our three kids and never used it? And you want to take it to the next house? His response, we can use it for baby Vincent. OMG - really? I found that if he wasn’t with me, it was easier to toss things. The mantra - “you never know we might need it - got tossed out so much, I began to ban the use of it - LOL! This was a huge job and sentimentality didn’t need to play into it. I did silently thank the time I had during quarantine as I already cleared out every closet during my boredom - so the big clearing had already started- whoo hoo! Packing consumed our lives. The sound of tape and the ripping of bubble wrap became constant sounds in our home. And yes there was the occasional popping of the bubble wrap, I mean who can resist it?
We were tossing out so much stuff that Bob started tipping the garbage men because of the amount of stuff we were putting at the curb. Because of Covid, charities were limiting the amount of things they were accepting. Bob was traveling all over the Detroit area to find charities that would accept donations so we wouldn’t have to toss it on the curb. It was becoming a full time job trying to give our things away - LOL!
So, how did we do? 130 boxes are packed and ready to go tomorrow. Yes, after the big clearing, we still have 130 boxes. In my defense, some of the boxes are filled with towels, sheets, tools, everyday pans and dishes and clothes. And my 30 boxes of holiday decorations (don’t judge, it’s my thing okay?) Does that make it sound better? And here’s a question I ask myself concerning clothes - why did I keep my one pair of jeans from college? Do I really think I’m going to wear them one day? Talk about wishful thinking!!! Or is it relieving my youth?
At the end of all of the packing, we did keep some sentimental things that I’m sure my children will go through when we die and say as we did at our Mom’s - why did they keep this? But now that we’re leaving our home of 31 years, I can understand why my mom kept some of those things. They gave her some peace in her new home. She could look at those things with fond memories remembering the home where she created her family. And now, we will do the same. College jeans and all . . .