Thoughts . . .
I just finished participating with a circle of Reiki practitioners in a world Reiki session. People coming together to co-create a beautiful healing energy to help heal our world. I feel at peace right now. I haven’t felt that way lately. I’ve been on edge. I’ve let fear and panic in. I find that I’m more unnerved about the Coronavirus than I was when I tangled with the Big “C”.
I’ve been asking myself why. I came up with several factors. Fear of the unknown immediately comes to mind. This virus is new: no research, no testing, no cure. It is the ultimate unknown. This virus has affected the entire world. The entire world. When has that ever happened? Every single country has been touched by this.
I also know that this just doesn’t affect me. It touches everyone in my family. That was a game changer for me. Cancer was a disease in me - this virus can attack anyone. As a parent, I worry about my children. My oldest is an airline pilot. He’s exposed every day. Flying from city to city, walking through various airports, staying in hotels during his routes. His wife, Molly, is expecting our first grandchild. She is exposed to people every day in her job. My other son works at a car dealership - who’s buying cars right now? Our daughter lives in Chicago and is home with us due to job and dance company shut down but when she goes back, she will ride the trains and buses to get to her destinations. She will be in a city filled with people. I have a 91 year old mother who we desperately want to stay healthy. This virus has tentacles that are far reaching.
I’ve not spoken much about it, but since last September, I’ve been in the hospital a total of 15 days. September, November, December and January. I’ve had UTI’s that go right into sepsis. Long story short, I’ve had every test imaginable and they have all come back fine. They have no answer. Which is great but a little unnerving. I’m feeling fine now but there is the anxiety of having another UTI that puts me back in the hospital. A place I definitely don’t want to be right now.
I’ve thought long and hard over the past few days. I’ve sat quietly and meditated. I’ve imagined a white healing light around my family members and friends. I’ve done Self-Reiki to bring in the calm and to boost my immunity. I’ve prayed for our world. And I realized that I haven’t been applying the lessons that I learned in my journey with cancer.
I forgot to live in the present. To live in the now. I even forgot to breathe. The deep breaths up from your toes that bring in calm. I was allowing fear to take over. I was letting it win. I went into the “What If” syndrome. I know from the past that those places don’t serve me. I needed to take my fear and Focus the Energy to Alter the Result. Where is my joy and gratitude?
I looked for joy today. Instead of focusing on the news reports, I focused on what our world is doing to hold each other up. I exchanged funny memes with friends. I watched videos of people singing on balconies and funny clips of people finding the humor in being quarantined. I saw grocery stores setting special times for senior citizens to buy groceries, college students setting up delivery services to help people unable to get supplies. People ordering from their local family owned restaurants and Grub hub waiving delivery fees. School systems making sure their students would still have their meals. I saw doctors and nurses from China arrive in Italy to help in their battle. People in the arts giving free concerts from their homes and encouraging those students who will not be able to perform in their last concerts a chance to share their performances with them. Construction companies donating much needed masks to hospitals. Religious groups coming together collectively in prayer. Circles like I participated in sending out healing to the world. This is love. I found love today. - how great is that! My heart is filled with joy witnessing the good in people.
I’ve looked at the quarantine as a gift. Finding the positives. I am enjoying having Riley home. Laughing, talking, taking walks and movie marathons. My closets and drawers will be spotless after this - lol!. I’m finding joy in being still. Maybe that’s the blessing in this. Together time. Relaxing, doing projects, just being. The whole world is taking a deep breath and being still.
I read something by Dr. Lindsey Jernigan - in part she says:
"This plan is not about individuals going into hiding. It is a global breath,
an agreement between humans around the planet to be still. Be still in hopes
that the biggest wave can pass, without engulfing too many of the
most vulnerable amongst us."
The one thing that’s trying to destroy us is also bringing us together. The entire world wants the best for one another. We are unified in compassion and love. What a gift we’ve been given, what a lesson we’ve all learned.
I feel lighter now, I feel peace. I’m remembering to stay in the now. I will continue to surround my family, friends and world in the healing light and find joy and gratitude every day. I will always look for humor and I will just flow. I have no control over this, but I can control my reaction to it. (Another cancer lesson) I am finding peace, joy, humor and gratitude. May you find the same. Namaste
